THE STATIC SPANDEX WORLD TOUR SOLD OUT • THE STATIC SPANDEX WORLD TOUR SOLD OUT • THE STATIC SPANDEX WORLD TOUR SOLD OUT • THE STATIC SPANDEX WORLD TOUR SOLD OUT •

BANG

BORN IN THE UK

BESIDE THE PEOPE OF THE UNITED KINGDOM

TOP CHART FLOPS

FAN PRAISE

“THEY SHRED SYNTHS LIKE A KITCHEN APPLIANCE GONE WRONG. ABSOLUTELY MAGNIFICENT.”

— MELODY MAKER (PROBABLY)

“THE LEATHER PANTS WERE SO TIGHT I COULD HEAR THE STITCHES SCREAMING. 10/10 POWER CHORDS.”

— THE BIRMINGHAM GAZETTEER

“BUDGET PYROTECHNICS? MORE LIKE A GLORIOUS HOUSE FIRE SET TO A ROCK BEAT.”

— THE STATIC TIMES

“PURE SONIC CHAOS. I OWN THREE COPIES OF THE SINGLE AND NO TURNTABLE.”

— A VERY DESPERATE FAN

ENTER THE VOID

You are about to exit the physical realm. This portal leads to an unindexed fragment of the early digital frontier. The Static Spandex accepts no liability for blown speakers or temporal displacement.

OBSOLETE WEB 1.0 PORTAL